February 01, 2007
Tanuki
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cdent/16193250/ (Q6M)
Last night Tanuki passed away. He was away at the special vet for a rhinoscopy to finally get some resolution to or at least some knowledge about his continuous suffering with an always infected, sneezy nose. Sometime overnight, while in recovery after a large unknown foreign body had been removed from his nasal cavities, his brain gave up and he was no longer able to breath on his own. Maybe a stroke, nobody's sure. (Q6N)
Tanuki was always a charmer, from the day we took him home from the shelter surrounded by kittens and cats that were far more cute at a superficial level. I will miss him terribly. (Q6O)
November 10, 2006
November 08, 2006
November 07, 2006
July 02, 2006
Scene Change
It's been a busy month and a bit. (Q49)
Went to Hawaii, which was lovely, only to return home to the landlord requesting are departure on account he wanted to sell up. Meanwhile I had more trips lined up. (Q4B)
So we quickly hunted for a place, quickly got a jones for Alki, and luckily found a place with a nice view before I went off for the Nth annual boat trip where N is something like 6 or 7. There should be some photos here but I left that to an aspiring professional so we'll have to wait on his fiddling. Fiddler? (Q4D)
Back for a week of moving and now off to Palo Alto for a much needed work gathering during which we will conceive, hatch and bring to maturity good stuff. There will also be sushi. (Q4E)
January 02, 2006
Happy 2006
It's a New Year (Happy New Year everyone), so it must be time for some new resolutions. But first a review of the last batch. How did I do: (PW8)
- Back down to 150 T (PW9)
- Not likely to happen. I keep adding muscle because of this climbing class I have. I float between 155 and 165. I'd still like to be lighter but I'd be putting the hurt on myself if I tried. (PWA)
- Back up to 5.12 T (PWB)
- Not quite. Not enough outdoor climbing. (PWC)
- Yell at and/or thank the right people more T (PWD)
- This probably needs more work. The idea was to make sure that I didn't swallow my anger or my gratitude. (PWE)
- Put the beauty back T (PWF)
- Not enough. (PWG)
- Climb a mountain T (PWH)
- Not yet. My relationship to the mountains is such these days that this one can be subsumed into some of the others. If I succeed at those, then I will have climbed a mountain at some point. (PWI)
- Boundaries, Schedules, Routines T (PWJ)
- Ah, hmmm. Not really. Just recently I've started going out for breakfast each morning before work and doing a little catch up, taking advantage of free wireless around the place. This is good. There's a transition in the day which is very helpful. (PWK)
- More: sleep, water, exercise, traction, fruit T (PWL)
- This I probably managed. With the advent of diagnosed hypoglycemia and food allergies plus the climbing class, the amount of attention paid to sleep, water, exercise, and fruit has gone up. Not sure about traction. (PWM)
- Less: work T (PWN)
- Totally tanked on this one. Not only did I work more, but I made intentional decisions to remove some things from my life so I would have more time to focus on work. This was a choice and I don't regret it: the work was worth doing, but in the grand scheme of things it seems likely I'm making a poor trade. So for good measure this stays on the list. (PWO)
The New List (PWP)
- Less: work T (PWQ)
- (PWR)
- Maintain traction (PWS)
- Finish what gets started (PWT)
- When given responsibility, take power (PWU)
- There seem to me so many situations in life where one is given responsibility for some thing, but not at the same time given the tools and power to do the thing. I've always felt this an injustice and have felt bound to point out the injustice and push the problems back in the face of the givers of the responsibility, hoping for some correction. The injustice is perhaps just a reality and the only reaction is to find the power and resources to do the thing, or just don't do it. Which leads to the next thing. (PWV)
- JFDI (PWW)
- Just Fucking Do It. Or at least that's the translation I prefer. Ingy's been on me for some time do this. Less talk, more act. Less decision making, more happening. Etc. (PWX)
- More work on boundaries, schedules and routines (PWY)
- That is what it is. (PWZ)
- Climb outdoors (PX0)
- Doesn't matter where or of what type. Just get out there. (PX1)
- Put the beauty back T (PX2)
- Keep finding it where it is. (PX3)
- Stay in touch (PX4)
- I have fabulous family and friends. I feel like the connections with them are solid, but I don't do my part to keep information flowing on those connections. My life would be better if I did. (PX5)
November 27, 2005
Don't Tread on My Talking Snake
A recent New York Times Magazine has an article on the presence of Christian symbolism and myth in the Narnia books. This week's magazine has a worthy letter in response: (PVY)
It's true, as Charles McGrath? avers, that the Narnia books affirm "old-fashioned, Church of England religion and Tory politics" (Nov. 13). But the books would not have such a hold on generations if there were not a more liberating side. Lewis had two ruling passions. The first was to capture moments of what he called "joy," which he defined as an all-encompassing sensation of desire for something unnameable and, he came to believe, supernatural. The second - bred by a succession of sadistic boarding schools - was to be left alone. The first passion fed an unmatched capacity to make heaven seem viable and dynamic. The second was his hatred of arbitrary and self-serving authority. His child heroes grapple with tyrants who are essentially school bullies writ large; they are rewarded with experiences you have to be dead not to desire. It's a bewitching combination. --Andrew Sprung (PVZ)
This captures very well what I love about the Narnia books and encapsulates some aspect of my ethics or morals: to transcend, unfettered, in the pursuit of ... whatever. It doesn't matter to me if the thing desired or searched for is supernatural, only that it reach beyond and around those things, forces, and people which constrain, impinge and sully. (PW0)
November 19, 2005
Nothing To See Here
As I begin this entry it occurs to me that the more I work on a particular technology (blogs and wikis) the less inclined I am to write in blogs and wikis. But then as I begin this sentence I realize that this blog had its stride when it was the very crucible of my work on blogs and wikis, when PurpleWiki, PurpleNumbers and TransClusion were my daily bread. (PVT)
What does it all mean. Dunno. I'm positively distracted and insufficiently extroverted to keep it up here. (PVU)
In the meantime, if you see nothing happening here, fear not, I'm likely still alive. I was alive before January 9th, 2003. (PVV)
September 11, 2005
One Year
It's been one year since I moved to Seattle from Bloomington. In that time I've started a new job; entered one new home and then another; been to England to visit my son; danced a confusing dance with my health; climbed some, but missed climbing more than I wanted; lost my favorite kitty but gained a new buddy; travelled to Palo Alto, Toronto, Florida, Portland, Vancouver, Victoria, Lake Cumberland, and back to the old haunts in the midwest; taken many pictures of Mt. Rainier and far less of people; eaten a lot of good sushi, and a lot less wheat, dairy and sugar; lost and gained; shrunk and grown. (PUU)
The geography near here suits me better. There are ups and down and horizons. Tall mountains, deep lakes and many pine trees. In some ways these things are obscured by the--to me--bustling metropolis of Seattle, but all that bustling brings its benefits. I have pleasantly adapted to the concept of neighborhood where most of my food, entertainment, parks and comfort are within reach of my feet. The car can take me to mountains and ocean, snow and salt and have me home for dinner. (PUV)
The year has been one of change: some of my assumptions have been destroyed, leaving behind a bit of a void. On a bad day that's a void of doubt and confusion, on a good day an opportunity to be filled. Questions exist but there's been one constant: I came to Seattle for love, and that love remains. (PUW)
July 31, 2005
Some Weeks, Some Pictures
July has been pretty busy. Flickr has been my diary and it is likely to remain so. If you're trying to keep tabs on me maybe you should subscribe to my photostream? (PSS)
Early July I was in Palo Alto for a Socialtext all hands meeting. There was fun, learning, planning and most importantly: adventure. (PSU)
At the end of that I was lucky enough to hook up with Bloomington ex-patriates Scott and Rachel for a dash to Yosemite, which is one of the churches of my religion, also including Mt Rainier. (PSW)
It was much too hot for anything in Yosemite, but we did manage to climb two routes. I don't know their names or what area we were in. One was a terrifying near vertical, runout, bolted slab, somewhere around 10a or b, which I manage to onsight despite the burning in my hands and not knowing where the anchors were. Next was a top rope attempt on a 10c finger crack that Scott led. I eventually had to batman past the crux and into the section with good hands. I sweat away all my water, and soon fell asleep for two hours. (PSX)
I was back from California for a bit more than a day and then left for my sixth annual Lake Cumberland boat trip. Dr. Surly, who rescued me from near death mere inches below the surface has his version of events. The lake was beautiful this year and a very fine time was had, despite the usual technical difficulties. (PSZ)
Finally returned to Seattle, the month is nearly over, and I find parrots have invaded the neighborhood. This is exciting news to SB and me, and a case of "oh yeah, they're here every year" from the neighbors. (PT1)
The coming week I'm away at OSCON in Portland. If you're going to be there, let me know. (PT2)
June 06, 2005
Moved!
With the excellent help of Aubrey, Sean and Maria we've moved ourself out of our somewhat stanky previous establishment into a much more pleasant place. A small number of pictures on flickr. (PO4)
Now the hard part: cleaning up the old place. (PO5)
May 24, 2005
hypoallergenic
When last I was at the doctor we decided that having discovered some food allergies it might be wise to investigate allergies of the airborne or environmental type. (PMU)
So today I trotted off to the allergist confident that something would show, at least mold, cats and perhaps a few tree pollens. (PMV)
Nothing. Nada. Zip. I had no reaction to any of the (many) pricks and shots. I barely had a reaction to the positive control. And the machine that goes ping when you blow into it says my lungs are fine. (PMW)
The good news is apparently I don't have airborne allergy problems. The bad news is something unknown is wrong with me. (PMX)
April 23, 2005
Food Trouble
I've recently had some visits to the doctor that are resulting in diet changes. I've got some heavy issues with hypoglycemia and some recently uncovered allergies to dairy, wheat, almonds and eggs. (PI7)
Almonds and eggs were being a staple of my diet. No more. (PI8)
One tool I'm told is helpful when dealing with these sorts of diet changes is a food diary. I've decided to keep one in a Socialtext Eventspace as that seems to have some nice eating my own dog food thematic balance to it. (PI9)
Feel free to follow along over there if you are inclined. I'll also be using this as an opportunity to experiment with the application. (PIA)
Yes, thanks, I already know it's slow. The fix is in the chute. (PIB)
April 08, 2005
Should Regret
When I was younger, my friends, lovers and associates would pride themselves with statements similar to "I have no regrets" or "If I had to do it all over again I wouldn't change anything". I was suspicious of that feeling then and know it to be utter bullshit now. I have regrets. I have things I would change. (PHT)
I'm in Bloomington for a couple of weeks and while enjoying a showing of films from the Banff Film Festival I reconnected with a regret, a thing I would change. Two of the films were about sled dogs. (PHU)
Sometime in the mid-nineties I had the pleasure to take a trip to Alaska with my girlfriend at that time, and her family. We travelled around many places. Saw many wonderful things. The night before entering Denali National Park we stayed in a charming and remote bed and breakfast. The owners were also sled dog trainers: on one section of the property were between ten and twenty dogs of various breeds, destined for a sledding life, maybe someday the Iditarod. (PHV)
In the evening I walked out amongst the dogs and enjoyed their presence and they seemed to enjoy mine. The owner noticed and invited me to be that year's intern. The intern winters in the bed breakfast, gets room and board, a minor stipend and is responsible for running the dogs. They warned me it was dark, lonely, cold but rewarding. I was intrigued, fascinated, excited but confused. (PHW)
The value of the offer was immense. Alaska had been calling out to me for many years. When the plane landed in Anchorage I thought, "I made it, I can die now." Adding in the dogs gave some substance to an abstract yearning that had always been around. (PHX)
I had come to Alaska with the woman I loved and though she said perhaps I should take the offer, in the end I chose to return with her to the life we were trying to make back in the real world. (PHY)
That relationship eventually failed. I regret not staying with the dogs. It is not, though, a simple case of "shit, if I knew this was going to go south I could have hung with the dogs". I regret not hanging with the dogs because hanging with the dogs is what I wanted to do and hanging with my girlfriend was what I felt like I should do and needed to do. (PHZ)
I regret the existence of should. (PI0)
March 21, 2005
Why Wiki?
A regular unanswered question (for myself and others) of "what do you do?", some conversations with Lee LeFever about social design and community, and recent updates at work have given me a chance to think a bit about the question and stir some ideas. (PG6)
At work I'm primarily a developer, but I tend to think of my vocation as a builder of augmenting, computer-based tools for personal and collaborative work. I go to the trouble of making that mouthful of a statement to distinguish between types of activities that computers do and types of activities that people do. (PG7)
Computers have two types of applications, those that automate and those that augment (21Q, 22J). An augmenting application assists a person in performing some activity which cannot or is not automated. Only activities which can be formally described in theory can be automated. As such there are many tasks, especially those related to human discourse, which cannot be automated; they can, however, be augmented. (PG8)
At a fundamental level computers are tools for creating representations (22L). An augmenting application supporting discourse is engaged in representing and transmitting information. The application is used as tool to evaluate, craft and remodel information (22K). (PG9)
Most of my development effort in the last few years has been with wikis (first PurpleWiki, and now Kwiki and Socialtext) and purple numbers. Purple numbers may eventually change the universe of information handling, but that's a discussion for another day. (PGB)
Wikis are a type of augmenting discourse tool optimized for a particular set of behaviors. Under ideal(tm) conditions they provide an easy path to participation in evolving communication. They do this by being straightforward to learn, quick to respond, and accessible in a distributed fashion. They support changing content and provide an easy way to create and explore connections between things. How something fits in to the larger picture is a large part of how we infer meaning. (PGC)
I think there are three primary audiences for wikis: the individual who hopes to use the wiki as an outboard brain or memory; the nascent group that hopes to discover and solidify the community that lies as potential in their loose connections; and the existing community that hopes to support a shared goal or perform some action. (PGD)
Those three categories could be used to describe any set of people, but a wiki is not the perfect tool for every task. There are multiple types of discourse and multiple tools to support them. Some are better at certain aspects than others, none are really good enough (we have a long long way to go, but each day and in every way we are becoming better and better). (PGE)
Blogs have become a central tool in the distribution of narrative discourse. With a blog there is usually a single author or small group expressing outwardly in a gesture that leads, over time, to the distribution of language and understanding outside the immediate clan. Very often the initial discourse is not fully refined but is rather some author's speculation: a seed that may lead to more knowledge later, as a separate piece of content. As has been said many times, the connections in the network of blogs is often loose and distributed. (PGF)
Email continues to be a primary tool for discussion within a clan. The members of an email group have already discovered some bit of shared language or understanding that has brought them together. Email discussion can reinforce and solidify language, providing stability from which action can be performed. (PGG)
With both blogs and email, content tends to be relatively static. Typos may be corrected in a blog entry and email threads may carry on forever but there is little in the way of refinement of the content. This is where wikis step in: they are good tools for summarizing, annotating and connecting information. These are the actions of a knowledge enhancement system. (PGH)
Wikis do not match all the requirements for a knowledge enhancement system, but experience has demonstrated that this is good. Wikis are here now, today, helping people to do good work generating and supporting communities, developing and creating shared language, and refining information into new knowledge. Their simplicity makes them available. (PGI)
When I chose to join up with Socialtext back in September, it was an attractive choice because the people there believe in two things: people matter more than tools; and tools should help people do what they want to do, not get in the way. (PGK)
Socialtext, in its various incarnations, is based on wiki but integrates concepts from email and blogs to allow the action and narration those systems support. The latest release is a fine improvement: it enhances email integration, adds support for backlinks (placing information in context, leading to deeper understanding) and for PC Forum 2005 we've created a special prototype of Eventspace, running under mod perl for improved response time. (PGL)
Architecting these sorts of tools may not solve poverty and hunger, or alleviate suffering in the aftermath of a ? disaster, but the tools can augment people actively doing that work. I happen to be good at making the tools go, so that's where I look to fit myself into the puzzle. (PGM)
Related writings: (PGN)
March 16, 2005
samsara
Today, while the neighborhood of North Beacon Hill mobilized itself in a game of hide and seek with the suspected thief of laptops belonging to myself and others, a gentleman enjoying some wine (maybe a little too much) in the (highly recommended) Java Love Cafe suggested a plan of action: (PG0)
"I tell you what you should do", he told me, "You should get a gun and find the guy. When you find him stick the gun in his mouth, like this." (PG1)
I lean away while the man leans in towards me and my mouth, brandishing his cocked finger. (PG2)
"Tell him, take me to the guy you sold this stuff to. When you get to that guy, stick the gun in his mouth and tell him to take you to the guy he sold the stuff to and keep on going." (PG3)
From somewhere, I dredge up: "The problem with that is that if you do that you'll eventually be sticking the gun in your own mouth." (PG4)
The perp was not apprehended, but the cops "know who he is and have been watching him". (PG5)
February 16, 2005
At Least Two Pieces of Good News about Views: Mountains and Purple
Two nice things have happened today: (PEG)
On the walk back from the grocery I found a good place from which to get my eyes on Mt. Rainier. This has been a long running problem for me. First the weather is usually cloudy, so none of the mountains (Cascades or Olympics) are in view. Second, in the neighborhood, views to the east are fairly plentiful, but narrow. Rainier is to the Southeast, usually outside the angle of view while tromping around the streets. (PEH)
Today things are different. Very clear day. And I found a good spot for a view. Somewhere I walk past often, but usually with my back facing the view. At the northwest corner of a nearby playfield if I site across the center line of the soccer field and look a bit right there's the mountain. And when I say there, I mean THERE. On a day like today it is stunningly huge. Nails me to the spot in some kind of religious ecstasy. (PEI)
Meanwhile, back inside, where my view is the brick wall of next door, I've finally cut a usable version of Kwiki::Purple with support for good linking and internal to the wiki TransClusion. See it: http://www.burningchrome.com/pwiki/ (PEJ)
This is the culmination of a huge amount of work and experimentation, and I'm sure there will be much more to come. Thanks again to Brian Ingerson, Matthew O'Connor and Eugene Eric Kim. (PEK)
I hope to get it to CPAN asap. (PEL)
January 26, 2005
New Couch Poetry
Upon the Arrival of One New Couch and the Delivery of Crushing News through Instant Messenger &c (PE4)
certain animals the furry kind are leaving little footprints the dirty kind on our pristine couch (PE5)
January 18, 2005
New Year's Rez
Before this moment of remembering that I made them has passed (I find them in my palm pilot), here are some new year's resolutions I made, for later re-interpretation: (PDO)
December 16, 2004
brave old new world
I am eight again. Awake, late at night, in bed, face bathed by a dim light. Then I just read but now I also write. The same vague sense of doing something naughty. (OVE)
I bought a wi-fi card for my palm pilot. (OVF)
October 04, 2004
At Play in the Fields of the Lord
This weekend was the last weekend of sun I will see. Seattle is preparing to descend into several months of cool foetid dampness. In keeping with tradition, Sabrina and I made way to a wilderness destination. We went to the Nisqually National Wildlife Refuge, the estuary at the mouth of the Nisqually River as it enters the Puget Sound, bird central, home of somewhere between a few hundred and 97 million billion cedar waxwings (a suave character to be sure) and many other birds. (OJX)
The Nisqually River starts way up on Mount Rainier in the Nisqually Glacier and flows 78 miles to the sound. From the wildlife refuge, one can see the mountain watching over things: mindful, present, and completely untouchable. It's an awe inspiring sight. (OJZ)
Sabrina and I visited Rainier last year. This, if I recall correctly, is the Nisqually Glacier: (OK1)
Its melt flows down the mountain (OK3)
to the estuary (OK5)
and out into the sound. (OK7)
The experience of seeing the mountain from a distance is not that much different from looking at it while upon it. Its upper reaches tower above everything around it. It is always there, always watching you. The only way to get away is to go to the top. I may need to do that. (OK9)
There's a lovely trail that walks a large loop through the refuge. More pictures at NisquallyWildlifeRefugeThumb: more of the mountain, some of me and Sabrina being confused by the camera, a nice little froggie, and a seal pulling a fish from a net in the river. (OKB)
September 27, 2004
Three Reasons For Sore Feet
As I can't seem to find the discipline to entertain myself and others with regular and creative updates, here's an irregular and boring update: (O7B)
new shoes (O7C)
I'm wearing (to see if they fit, or rather, don't fit in the correct way) my new pair of climbing shoes. With use they stretch and get soft, so for proper fit it is often necessary to size them down a bit and just go with the initial pain. It's been a while since I appreciated this, as the pair being replaced are so far gone as to have holes in the big toes and rips at the heels which relieve much of the pressure. No pressure is being relieved right now. It's sublime. (O7D)
consumption (O7E)
Wait, some pressure is being relieved. The oh so special pain of a brand new pair of climbing shoes brings a distance and clarity that relieves the clench of my jaw, still present from several hours in the confines of Ikea. Why does anyone yearn for an Ikea to come to their town? Oh yeah, there was lots to choose from, and sure some of it seems pretty cheap for what you get. But really, my time is worth way more than that and I'm fairly certain I'm not a sheep. And I'm not done yet: the big stuff doesn't arrive until Tuesday and who knows how long it will take to assemble. (O7F)
But there's a nice new ceiling lamp in the bedroom, and I'll replace my card table desk with a nice pine thingie that actually has some drawers when I can store stuff that somebody somewhere thinks I need to have but I'll never look at again. My clothes and books will have somewhere to go. New curtains will make it easier to walk around the house naked. (O7G)
recreation (O7H)
Two weekends in a row now: another trip to the mountains. This time to see Twin Falls. Another few weekends this will be a ritual, and thus sacrosanct and protected from unimportant things like cleaning and going to Ikea. (O7I)
Twin Falls are a series of waterfalls (two bigger, plus a few separating the upper and lower) on the south fork of the Snoqualmie River on state park land. A lovely trail takes you along the river to this, (O7J)
the lower falls. Continuing up the trail takes you to the upper falls. Beyond that the trail heads for the Iron Horse Trail (which goes across the Cascades to at least the Columbia River) where we saw a new bird: The Varied Thrush. (O7L)
Other pictures from the walk at TwinFallsTrailThumb. (O7M)
August 24, 2004
More Bats
This time in the bedroom while I was asleep. Two rounds of one each: (NJU)
chris: zzzz (NJV)
[noises] (NJW)
chris: shut up kitty (NJX)
[flapping] (NJY)
chris: mmmrph? (NJZ)
[lights on to reveal a strangely slow moving bat and an excited kitty] (NK0)
I trundle off down the hall to fetch that which the garage provides, swoop it up in one attempt, and deliver it outside. (NK1)
chris: zzzz (NK2)
[noises, noises that might be coming from the wall air conditioner] (NK3)
chris: thoughts of ignoring it followed by resignation (NK4)
I trundle off down the hall to fetch that which the garage provides, swoop it up in one attempt, and deliver it outside. (NK5)
[spotlight on air conditioner as it receives an inconclusive inspection] (NK6)
August 17, 2004
Going To Seattle
Just to make it official, as apparently I've not made an official announcement: I'm moving to Seattle. On or about labor day my lovely participant and I will hop in the car with Thomasina the cat and head into the sunset on a grand adventure. (NGQ)
I have a small car. I'm not taking much with, so I'm attempting to unload just about everything I own. If you're in the vicinity of Bloomington, my loss can be your gain. See StuffForSaleOrFree for all sorts of stuff from around the house that is going cheap or free. Some of it is an absolute steal. If you know folk that need stuff, feel free to point them to that wiki page. (NGR)
I've been told a party of some sort is in order. Okay, let's have a party where you have to take something I'm trying to get rid of with you when you go home. When's good? (NGS)
August 11, 2004
The Garage Provides
I've just had the pleasure of a visit from not one, nor two, but three bats. Nor were these like the cute dude who spent some time with me a while back. That bat was little, and very tired, and happy to be caught in a cup. (ABO)
Catching these bats required the assistance of an implement of science from the garage. Perhaps a butterfly net? Or miscellaneous bug net. Or even a bat net. I fetched it. The garage provides. (ABP)
I took my stance in the corner the room. Swing! One bat snagged and delivered to the outdoors. (ABQ)
I made ready for bat number two, but this one was wise to my ways. At the last minute it did what bats do and took a wild curve. The rim of my net encountered bat. Bat encountered bookshelf and lay, stunned. (ABR)
I was crippled by guilt. But the bat stirred and wiggled, and I scooped it into the net. Once outside, the bat flew away. (ABS)
Relief. (ABT)
Back inside the remaining bat was tired and large. I swung. I missed. I swung again. Missed again. Again I swung and the bat was retired, noisily, to the out of doors. (ABU)
Where did the bats come from? I don't know. (ABV)
But the garage provides. (ABW)
July 31, 2004
The Paradox of Choice
An interesting read about how the modern superabundance of choice makes at least some unhappy rather than the happy rational economics says they should be. (A9B)
Points to a recent book of the same name by Dr. Barry Schwartz. (A9D)
It's fairly clear to me that this is a big player in my life and one of the motivating factors in getting rid of stuff (where stuff is the gamut including things, ideas, foods, people, places, passions, participations, etc.). (A9E)
July 15, 2004
From Today's Comics
I was pleased today to wake up to two comics that resonated nicely. I'm going to quote the scripts as the images are incidental. (A2U)
First one from Get Fuzzy. Rob has sponsored a howling monkey for Satchel's birthday (or something). (A2V)
Bucky: I assume you gave Satchel some breath mints for his monkey. (A2W)
Rob: What's that supposed to mean. (A2X)
Bucky: Oh come on. It is a known fact that monkeys have the worst breath in the world. Haven't you ever heard of Scope's Monkey Trial? (A2Y)
Rob: It....What? (A2Z)
Bucky: Yeah. That's right. Trial. Some chimp's breath was so bad that a mouthwash company sued him. (A30)
Rob: Where do you learn your history, dude? (A31)
Bucky: You can't trust the liberal media, Rob. You have to figure stuff out for yourself. (A32)
This reminded me of what's wrong with Bush and the ignorant Americans that support him. I was trying hard to come up with some way to say that other than that, something less aggressive, but there's really no reason not to. So though I laughed and appreciated the few days of setup that went into this comic, I went a bit moody. (A33)
But then I read some Calvin and Hobbes. Calvin's getting ready for a bath, stripping down, covered in filth. (A34)
Calvin: My elbows are grass-stained, I've got sticks in my hair, I'm covered with bug bites and cuts and scratches...I've got sand in my socks leaves in my shirt, my hads are sticky with sap, and my shoes are soaked! I'm hot dirty, sweaty, itchy and tired. (A35)
Hobbes: I say consider this day seized! (A36)
Calvin: Tomorrow we'll seize the day and throttle it! (A37)
And with that I felt much better. I lost that appreciate the dirt and pain sensation for many years. Climbing brought a lot of it back. (A38)
May 28, 2004
Losing People
I reckon what makes a people is a form of interaction. Interaction with a mutual responsiveness. This is why some thing like your computer might be considered a people but some one like George Bush would not. (7FV)
Some cats are definitely people. After being around for several weeks as a fixture in my daily routine and dialog, Enzo the foster cat has returned to the animal shelter to be one of the participants in their special no-kill kitty colony. As a charming fellow with a special look, he's thought a good candidate for adoption. While I'm sure that's true and I wish him the best I will miss him and I was terribly sad after leaving him behind. (7FW)
He's the white one. (7FY)
Losing people and the artifacts of their presence is the central cause of paralysis in my life. Every interaction is so full of potential for experience, both good and bad, that I find myself reluctant to start anything but once started reluctant to finish anything. (7FZ)
I had intentionally made myself too busy to take any action on Enzo but in the end I had to break the indecision. As I stuffed him into the little cat carrier I felt a traitor to the many mornings of breakfast and conversation we had shared. (7G0)
I am not cut out to be a foster kitty caretaker. My interactions with the cats are not for the sake of enjoyment. I don't see them as my entertainment or a source of "I'm helping make the world a better place" feelings. I know that fostering a cat is helpful to the cat and the shelter organization, and I'm sure there are people who can do that well. (7G1)
But for me when the cat, or anybody, comes to my house I'm making a pledge of loyalty to someone who will inevitably, because of the days of constant interaction, become my good pal, even if they stink and talk too much. That pledge feels utterly betrayed by the return to the pleasant but anonymous seeming confined spaces of the animal shelter. (7G2)
So I think I better not start something with another cat, because I won't want to finish it. And if I'm not willing to talk to you, it may be because you're not worth talking to, but it could also be because I'd hate to develop an understanding and have that go away. (7G3)
May 26, 2004
New York Week
I spent last week in New York, attending the 13th Internation World Wide Web Conference. I had promised to blog the conference but I managed to not get around to it. I hope to soon, I learned some good webby stuff. (7EV)
But I learned some other things, not webby stuff, I ought not forget. Full collection of pictures at NewYorkMayThumb. (7EW)
There's some fine bouldering in Central Park. It's late evening in this pic as I look up towards the buildings just south of the park. I'm underneath a boulder known as Rat Rock. (7EY)
I went to the park the second day of the conference after a day of feeling socially retarded and unable to connect. Not only was I feeling shy, I was also feeling little sense of value in attempting to make a connection. (7EZ)
At the park, I'm bouldering alone. It's rained earlier in the day so conditions are less than good. After a while a guy shows up. I ask him to show me a few problems, explaining this is not my turf. We engage in SharedJargon?. We have fun. (7F0)
This represents a fundamental shift in my me. The meaning of which is as yet not fully sussed out. I'm not prepared to associate a value judgment with it quite yet. (7F1)
New York is big. In several locations throughout the place you find skylines that are adequate for reasonably sized standalone cities. This view is out the Southeast corner of the park. Here's downtown (7F3)
viewed from the Staten Island Ferry. (7F5)
I don't consider myself a city dude, but I liked New York. I conclude that most cities just aren't worth the hassle: the benefits don't win when compared with the challenges. The challenges for me are compression, oppression, aggression and apprehension. New York has way more than enough of that stuff but makes up for it in several ways: (7F6)
- The park. The cabbie took me through the park on the way to the hotel. I was thoroughly impressed and felt a relieved sense of "oh, this is here, I'll be okay." The park is a masterpiece. (7F7)
- The subway. It works and is out of the way, at least on Manhattan (which is all I'm really talking about here, I neither saw nor have any immediate inclination to see the less vertical areas of New York). Big minus points to Chicago for putting theirs above ground. Boo. (7F8)
- The food. There's lots to choose from it. Some of it even cheap. (7F9)
- Pretty people that are not fat. This is a major contributing factor. Maybe it would wear off with time but the beauty and variety of the people make you feel like you are somewhere special rather than in a toilet (despite the smell). (7FA)
- Other stuff I'm not remembering right now because this was supposed to be a short entry. (7FB)
So, with all that I found myself thinking: I could deal with this. That's not an entirely new thought: I've often thought in the heart of a giant city was certainly a better option than some random place in a medium city. Grocery delivery would be key. (7FC)
I prefer a slow entry to a place. Get somewhere and then wander in expanding circles, not doing much. I took this approach to my time in New York and liked it that way. As a result I didn't hit all the sites, but I got a pleasant feeling. That's my mode. (7FD)
When I go back, I'd like to get inside the Chrysler Building. (7FE)
I couldn't get past the lobby, but even that was enough to renew my desire to do some Art Deco exploring. (7FG)
When traveling, non stop flights on little jets are the way to go. Exit rows extra helpful. Bring own water. (7FH)
Okay, one conference comment: Semantic Web confederates and cheerleaders are not as crazy as I once thought (the errors of AI are not being repeated, as it once seemed). They do, though, need to come back to earth, focus on today, and let things evolve and emerge concurrent with real-world activity. A great deal of the design activity associated with SemanticWeb? standards is intensely architected stuff. The w3c is turning into the IOETF: InternetOverEngineeringTaskForce. (7FI)
May 07, 2004
False Constraints
There is something very pleasing about a nice coffee beverage in the evening after months of no coffee in the evening. Is it the coffee or the removal of the constraint. Coffee in the morning is nice but not like this. So it's the latter and once again, as every day, voluntary temporary slavery is affirmed as the road to a freedom that is false but viscerally satisfying. Which matters more: having something real or thinking you have something? (4BD)
January 19, 2004
Broken Images
My step-dad sent me the following RobertGraves? poem. I think it points to one of the fundamental divisions that come up in abstract conversations. (2I1)
In Broken images (2I2)
He is quick, thinking in clear images; I am slow, thinking in broken images. (2I3)
He becomes dull, trusting to his clear images; I become sharp, mistrusting my broken images. (2I4)
Trusting his images, he assumes their relevance; Mistrusting my images, I question their relevance. (2I5)
Assuming their relevance, he assumes the fact; Questioning their relevance, I question the fact. (2I6)
When the fact fails him, he questions his senses; Whe the fact fails me, I approve my senses. (2I7)
He continues quick and dull in his clear images; I continue slow and sharp in my broken images. (2I8)
He in a new confusion of his understanding; I in a new understanding of my confusion. (2I9)
December 14, 2003
Snow
The snow has finally come. And with it that silence and slowness. And my snow angel. A wish or a prayer for it to stay. And today's deer, posing in the snow, waiting for Santa. And me, butt and belly flops, sliding down the hill, flannel lined pants to the rescue. Now home. Hot chocolate. 1:30am. It's still snowing. (27X)
December 10, 2003
Change
Today: (25X)
- I got my first ever filling from the dentist. (25Y)
- My mother asked "Do you by chance have a paypal account?" (25Z)
Seemed noteworthy, somehow. (260)
When Does the Door Get Kicked In?
Some Republicans want to put Reagan on the dime, replacing FDR. It's hard to tell how serious they are, they are responding to the TV mini-series of recent infamy. (25G)
The last paragraph in the article, though, raised some thoughts: (25H)
And Souder said, "It is particularly fitting to honor the freedom president on this particular piece of coinage" because he was "wounded under the left arm by a bullet that had ricocheted and flattened to the size of a dime." (25I)
When Reagan was shot, I was in sixth grade. By that time I was already a committed non-Republican. I didn't know what I was but I knew I was not a Republican. I still don't know what I am but I'm still not a Republican. (25J)
When John Lennon was shot and killed a few months prior (twenty-three years ago, Monday) one of the few people I've ever thought a hero was removed before I had a chance to be old enough to appreciate him. I was horrified, I despaired, I lost faith. (25K)
When Reagan was shot, and there I was in the sixth grade, I hoped desperately for his death. I thought if there was any justice in the world a man like that would be taken away. There's always been, for me, something especially chilling about a person, supposedly good--marketed as good, acting in the name of good, volunteering for and elected to a position to do good--that is not good. More chilling than the obviously and/or marketed as evil: the megalomaniacs like Saddam and Kim Jong Il. Perhaps I'm overcompensating somehow. (25L)
I wanted Reagan dead and I was not ashamed of it. If he had died I would have said good riddance. (25M)
But Reagan survived, I lost more faith, and he went on to gain the number one spot in my list of hated, supposedly good, western politicians. Until I spent some time in Thatcher's Britain. (25N)
Thatcher roosted comfortably at the number one position until George W Bush. He strut upon on the stage with his big mouth, big pointing fingers and giant stroking brush, painting things whatever color was convenient. It was clear from very early on that here, in this puppet that didn't even bother to attempt to conceal the strings--while still trumpeting about his righteousness--was the new winner. (25O)
And so I'm left with some confusing questions: if, hypothetically speaking(tm) of course, I feel about Bush as I did about Reagan does that make me a terrorist(tm) and a threat to national security(tm)? Will I, at any minute, be extradited back across the pond to take tea with Maggie T? (25P)
Is it still safe to make and wear a t-shirt that says something like "Help Kill The President"? How about a baseball cap that says "Terrorist"? Is it still safe to talk about it? Is it still safe to joke about it? When won't it be? How will we know? (25Q)
I will go to Antarctica
TheGuardian is running diaries of a Craig Vear, visting Antarctica. He, a composer, won a fellowship to record sounds from Antarctica for the creation of a sound collage. (258)
I stumbled across week's five and six today, the editors of the paper had chosen to include it in the RSS feed. (259)
This week's entry has the title Emotional Extremes. It describes two sides of crying: loneliness and exultation. The desolate, lonely places call out as kin to a certain breed of lonely people. Why? (25A)
How is it possible, by any means, to describe the sonic, visual and emotional sensory overload of smashing through ice packs on a day with 24 hours of sun, millpond seas and 150-mile visibility to a crisp horizon as seals, penguins and whales play around the ship? (25C)
and its neighbors remind me of my comments on Mountains of the Mind: (25D)
The mountains, the desert, the oceans, the other, the alien; that which is not in the backyard has the power to halt, if only briefly, our thinking, our power to compare, our only real power. We are left with pure sensing. This is the ecstasy of erasure; the knowing it's all really very big out there. And we, tiny and mortal, are able to see it and see it as new. T (25E)
I want to go Antarctica. (25F)
October 16, 2003
I Better Put Something Here
It's clear that, at least in my small segment of the world--that is, the one involving only me--continuous and conscientious blogging is an activity of the unemployed. The fifteen days necessary to clear the front page of this blog went by and I had no idea and nothing to say for it until I stumbled upon the nothingness found here and fell into guilt. (O8)
Working backward, what have I been doing? (O9)
I attended an all day meeting of IndianaUniversity developers to learn about the Open Knowledge Initiative and how it might fit into the IU technology environment. The most exciting moment of that was at the end when a manager type I shall refrain from naming came to visit me and my co-worker and thanked us for participating and said, "I know it can be intimidating for you guys with so many UIS people here." (OA)
Perhaps he meant to be nice, but that was an assy thing to say. The implication, you see, is that people in his department are professionals and I'm not. This is an attitude that's been floating around for quite some time. Perhaps it's justified, but I can probably hit the latrine from further back, while explaining to him why decoupled services on top of well modeled data structures are the most flexible design over the long term. (OB)
In any case, if we want OKI in our KB, we need to rewrite the KB. I wonder if Danny wants some contract work, so we can make the SemanticKb? (OC)
Earlier, I visited with my parents in the lovely confines of Shakamak State Park. They've been going there, often with me, my siblings and another family, for nearly 30 years. There's not much to do there, some few short trails to walk around on, some lakes to look at. Our primary activity is drinking tea and having pleasant conversation. (OD)
Meanwhile, my buddy Stan is caught in some kind of time loop and the erstwhile superheroes in this comic book universe (you know, the kind that can move through time and stuff) have been captured by the female archetype in this arc of the story. We've been doggedly deconstructing the text in search of a way out of this chapter. (OE)
Prior to that I was climbing in the red and apparently having heady, somewhat angelic, experiences with a new drug found at the top of some of the climbs. It's brown and powdery, looks a bit like sand. (OF)
(I'm broken when it comes to taking pictures of myself with my "you can see the picture when you take your own picture" camera. In this view I'm over compensating in response to comments from the lovely poupou, failing miserably, and I won't do that again. At least until the next time.) (OH)
A different Danny had loaned us a huge pile of trad gear, so we availed ourselves of some easy trad climbs, having little to no experience at such things. We aren't dead, so it must have gone well. If you want to buy me a present, I'll have some of these, any size. Thanks very much. (OI)
And now I must end this because I am late for work. (OJ)
September 09, 2003
Gardening, All Day and All Night
I'll probably change my mind about this by tomorrow and this is but one performance of a piece much played, but so it goes and may as well put it down: (L2)
While watching the end of Blade Runner it occurred to me that one of the major problems with being alive is not that it ends so quickly, casting a shadow of mortality; but that, at least for me, given its length, the future always looms large as a space that must be tended. (L3)
The future is a garden for which the seeds are planted now, or yesterday. (L4)
That is a curse. Were the future to drop out of my mind or knowledge of a nigh end drop in, I'd be a different man. (L5)
June 15, 2003
August 19, 2001: Junction City, Kansas
Realization last night: I don't go on wilderness vacations all that often because the return hurts. The wander back into congestion and hurry, even after only six days burns my eyes, breaks my heart and leaves me in disarray. Sitting on the mountain I was arrayed. Now in Denny's, where management can't spell on their instructional signs, I'm scared. Tight breath, etc. Didn't really want to come in here but knew I needed to eat. (00017X)
I hope to breeze the rest of the way home. (00017Y)
August 15, 2001: The Badlands
These are the badlands. Giant piles of desolate mud. Eroded sedimentary goo. Knife edges. Wrinkles. Desolation. (00017R)
I'm in the notch, leads to the wall. The land drops away from here to the prairie below. The prairie goes on forever. Nothing out there but green grass and bad land edges in colors that I don't know. (00017S)
I can see last night's campsite from here. Arriving at night provides a morning surprise. I drove in a hurry to beat a lightning storm that never broke to rain. A clear sky was revealed, more stars than any view but Joshua Tree. No wind. Cows lowing on a ranch nearby. (00017T)
Woke to stiff winds trying to move the tent. Woke prior to the sun, eventually rising with it. The sun burnt off a mist and now we have a breezy day with a hot sun. In the sun, out of the wind, it is hot. When the wind blows I want my long sleeve shirt. (00017U)
A few hundred feet down the hill there's another trail, of the boardwalk variety. Stairs climb to a platform where people stop to rest, see me and wonder how I got here. That is the Cedar Shelf trail. I am above the shelf, in the notch, looking out from the wall. (00017V)
A man with two children has passed through. They made it to the end of the trail, where I am, expressed disappointment that it wasn't a loop and went back the way they came. I wonder if they noticed the view. I have. I am here for the duration. (00017W)
June 05, 2003
Second Person
More from old journals: (0000ZM)
There's been a bit too much writing about PurpleNumbers on this blog lately. That's part of why I made it, but I'd also like it to be something else. T (0000ZN)
This is from the same notebook, a few pages later. I write about myself, in second person: (0000ZO)
You are 16 years old and you discover the size of the universe. On your back, staring at the stars, your focus receeds to infinite and suddenly, in comparison, you don't exist. You don't matter. Nothing you say, do, feel or be is more than a mote of dust. (0000ZP)
You are 20 years old and you've discovered for the second time in a year that someone is pregnant and you did it. And this is for keeps. Nothing you say, do, feel or be is going to change that. (0000ZQ)
You are 29 years old and the object of your affection, the stars in your sky, your single goal, dream and aspiration leaves without warning. You, mote of dust, can't say, do, feel or be. (0000ZR)
I went into a different journal to find a date for this (sometime in 1999, when I was 29) because the age doesn't correspond with the event, and got lost there. Metaphors used then still exist now, but the meanings have all changed. The primary character is now me when it used to be others. (0000ZS)
That is good. I can say, do, feel and be. (0000ZT)
June 03, 2003
Metadoor
There's been a bit too much writing about PurpleNumbers on this blog lately. That's part of why I made it, but I'd also like it to be something else. (0000Z0)
I've started digging in old papers, notebooks, files. In them I find bits of writing from times unknown that I'd like to save. Here's one. I think it is from sometime between 1997 and 1999. I had a notebook in which I would record thoughts. (0000Z1)
There are metaphors in lives. I see people everywhere, I see myself, believing that they are on the near side of a doorway into the good life. Noone knows what the good life really is, but the present is not it and god or whatever willing life will progress towards and through the door and then we can all kick back. (0000Z2)
I see this door. I get near to this door. And when I'm near to this door I see a great, gaping impassable abyss before it. And when I'm in love the abyss fills. (0000Z3)
(At this point you might be thiking some kind of "How romantic" thought. Let's hope not because you would be off base and I would have written the previous paragraph with the wrong tone.) (0000Z4)
Now, a few years later, I know some other things. I still think the abyss filling because of someone else is not right. If the abyss fills, what is there to cross? If there is nothing to cross, why go through the door? But if you stay there, are you going anywhere? (0000Z5)
I once imagined the place beyond the door as a separate place. Go there and there's no going back, everyone else is lost and only people through the door are with you now. But everyone has their own door, and once through they are still in the same place but themselves changed. (0000Z6)
So now, the abyss is there, even with love, and I stare at it and it stares back, and I look for bridges. (0000Z7)
