Losing People
May 28, 2004
I reckon what makes a people is a form of interaction. Interaction with a mutual responsiveness. This is why some thing like your computer might be considered a people but some one like George Bush would not. (7FV)
Some cats are definitely people. After being around for several weeks as a fixture in my daily routine and dialog, Enzo the foster cat has returned to the animal shelter to be one of the participants in their special no-kill kitty colony. As a charming fellow with a special look, he's thought a good candidate for adoption. While I'm sure that's true and I wish him the best I will miss him and I was terribly sad after leaving him behind. (7FW)
He's the white one. (7FY)
Losing people and the artifacts of their presence is the central cause of paralysis in my life. Every interaction is so full of potential for experience, both good and bad, that I find myself reluctant to start anything but once started reluctant to finish anything. (7FZ)
I had intentionally made myself too busy to take any action on Enzo but in the end I had to break the indecision. As I stuffed him into the little cat carrier I felt a traitor to the many mornings of breakfast and conversation we had shared. (7G0)
I am not cut out to be a foster kitty caretaker. My interactions with the cats are not for the sake of enjoyment. I don't see them as my entertainment or a source of "I'm helping make the world a better place" feelings. I know that fostering a cat is helpful to the cat and the shelter organization, and I'm sure there are people who can do that well. (7G1)
But for me when the cat, or anybody, comes to my house I'm making a pledge of loyalty to someone who will inevitably, because of the days of constant interaction, become my good pal, even if they stink and talk too much. That pledge feels utterly betrayed by the return to the pleasant but anonymous seeming confined spaces of the animal shelter. (7G2)
So I think I better not start something with another cat, because I won't want to finish it. And if I'm not willing to talk to you, it may be because you're not worth talking to, but it could also be because I'd hate to develop an understanding and have that go away. (7G3)
Comments
For what it's worth, I really think you did a world of good for Enzo. And not just in the sense that he had a place to live for a while. And also not justin the sense that had you not given him a place to live he would probably have been destroyed. (7G6)
No, I think that you gave him an actual home, and an environment where he could learn that most people are pretty cool, and not abusive assholes. You also allowed him to meet Thom, who I'm quite certain tought Enzo all sorts of useful things about what it means to be a Cat. (7G7)
Even as little as I was around him, I saw big improvements in him, and he seemed a much happier people. I know it's hard for you (and me for that matter) to let him go, but he'll be ok. You've helped him become a much better, and more adoptable cat. Now he can find a home for himself. (7G8)
Dr. Surly, one of your good pals, even if I stink and talk too much. (7G9)
What a nice kitty! I seriously thought about taking him home last weekend. But I was not sure our cats would have given him a warm reception. Here's hoping he finds a good home. (85I)
Interesting perspective; having read this will help me talk with volunteers who are interested in fostering bunnies. (8T6)
Thanks for sharing. (8T7)