Glacial Erratics

Protest Fantasy

March 13, 2003

I've been mulling an idea of reporting protests fantasies that I've had.    (0000BB)

Here's something I posted to a local newsgroup today, to express my frustration with warmongerers, local and remote:    (0000BC)

The thing to do now is to gather some happy little activists, raid as many pharmacies as possible for all the viagra we can find and make a mission to the white house, to the pentagon, to Downing Street, to France, to the security council, to Bagdhad, to Israel, to Turkey, to India, to Pakistan, etc etc etc ad infinitum so that all these bastards can have the following moment:    (0000BD)

Wow! My penis! It's alive! Oh beautiful penis, for so long I have missed you, let me touch you. Why did you forsake me and make me want to oppress everyone else. I've felt so repressed. I needed to act out. But no more, you are back! I love you little penis, never go away again.    (0000BE)

Comments

1/3
On March 14, 2003 03:39 AM mike said:

LOL!

Oh happy penis!

I have here one (1) fine bottle of the Balvenie Doublewood.

2/3
On March 14, 2003 09:35 PM Chris said:

I hope to hear your review soon.

The Solera Glenfiddich that Big Red has sounds like something to try, but money...

3/3
On March 15, 2003 12:39 AM mike said:

well, it's lovely, but my taste leans to the Laphroaig.

I beleive this has to do with my distinct preference for woody Kentucky whiskey: rough but aged, with overtones of wood, mold, and even lichen is all to the good.

The Balvenie just seems too... I don't know, refined, by comparison.

Mind you, it's a damfine product.

There's another goofy scotch you might entertain yourself with: Loch Dhu. It's conceptually like a bock, thinking beerishly, It's deep black, and a little bit thick. One feels as though one might be sipping from the layers of anerobicaly decayed vegetable matter down near the bottom of Loch Ness, er, Dhu.

Best enjoyed at a party, where all the males will quickly consume the entire bottle and then engage in the manly sport of loud, semi-comprehensible impressions of Fat Bastard, followed quickly by repeated bouts of competitive falling down. In certain circumstances a homespun variant of caber tossing (in the US, frequentl employing a couch, hosehold pet, television, or the smallest male present) may also take place.

Despite this, it's mighty, mighty tasty.

Sending...