Glacial Erratics

Good evening, Queer Barney here. Many of you, I fear, think of the groundhog as an ill-mannered creature. You see my kind as a vile, dirty, flea-infested thing that lives in holes in the ground and cares little for the finer things. I'm here to rid you of such notions. Groundhogs, especially this groundhog, are creatures of culture and taste with a subtle appreciation for beauty, grace and style. As I enter into this weblogging world I hope to share, amongst other thoughts, my understanding of what it is to be a refined and engaged groundhog. Without further ado, let's begin:

Single Malt Whisky

Tradition has it that the groundhog maintains its fine round shape from frequent visits to the pub for ale. Tradition is wrong in this case, in much the same way that tradition is wrong about my species' ability to predict the weather in February (we do that in May): the groundhog of distinction prefers scotch. I have at my disposal, through the tribute of my vassal, two passable bottles that I will review for you. The first is a ten year old Laphroaig, hailing from the island of Islay. It claims to be the most richly flavored of all Scotch whiskies. The second is The Balvenie DoubleWood 12 Year Old. It claims to be rich and mellow.

You humans appear to do your evaluations of whisky with "nosing" and "tasting". I assume this is because of certain physical limitations that I shan't embarrass you by mentioning. Suffice it to say that we groundhogs, at least some of us, seek a more complete congress with such a special beverage.

Laphroaig

Despite its pretensions of rich flavor, I felt the Laphroaig went down with ease. It presents a slight but murky nose that broadens and deepens as it enters the mouth, gracefully flowing to a sharp but pleasant finish that lingers as a long aftertaste. The overall fragrance is pungent with some smokiness. There's little trace of sweetness amongst the rather dark color. It's quite pleasant but a little dirty: an acquired taste for sure.

The Balvenie DoubleWood

The Balvenie is more immediately arresting. The aroma is compelling, inviting and ultimately irresistible. When brought to the mouth it teases with hints of sherry that expand into richly complex notes of sweetness and spiciness as it is drawn within. The DoubleWood finishes with a piquant jab that resolves to a gentle, warming descent. This is a scotch that keeps all the promises of infatuation and never becomes boring.

It should be evident which I prefer: while the Laphroaig is an experience worth having, its dark color pales when compared with the sublime pleasure to be found in a bottle of The Balvenie DoubleWood.

I hope you've enjoyed this shared moment. Until next time, eat well. --qb

at least some of us
an acquired taste for sure
amongst other thoughts